autismgender:

superhighschoolleveldoujinauthor:

cryingpenelope:

shmurdapunk:

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

once we were driving to jones beach and there was a sign on a toll booth advertising a bare naked ladies concert and my dad, very concerned asked the tooth booth operator “what was up these bare naked ladies and if it was inappropriate filth”

Paid to take a gondola ride up a mountain with me and my sister just so he could rip the loudest fart I had ever heard in my young life. He laughed while my sister and I clawed at the windows for air.

he has a mug with the slogan “I ❤ SPREADSHEETS” on

My dad’s an author. He was so angry about me getting waitlisted at a college he (and I) thought I would get into for sure that he wrote a horror comedy novel about kids threatening a college that rejected them with letters in blood-red ink.

Another scene in the book involves a holographic severed ghost penis.

I cannot make this shit up.